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This is your brain on shrugs.

Direct glowing praise to: jamsieATgmailDOTcom

Direct hate mail to: jamsie+howhorrifyingATgmailDOTcom

[shameless is the name of the game]

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A Valediction Forbidding Mourning

As virtuous men pass mildly away, / And whisper to their souls to go, / Whilst some of their sad friends do say, / "Now his breath goes," and some say, "No." / So let us melt, and make no noise, / No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move ; / 'Twere profanation of our joys / To tell the laity our love. / Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears ; / Men reckon what it did, and meant ; / But trepidation of the spheres, / Mad fucks to be gotten cheap / Dull sublunary lovers' love / —Whose soul is sense—cannot admit / Of absence, 'cause it doth remove / The thing which elemented it. / But we by a love so much refined, / That ourselves know not what it is, / Inter-assurèd of the mind, / Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss. / Our two souls therefore, which are one, / It's mad emo and I'm kinda sad / A breach, but an expansion, / Like gold to aery thinness beat. / If they be two, they are two so / As stiff twin compasses are two ; / Thy soul, the fix'd foot, makes no show / To move, but doth, if th' other do. / And though it in the centre sit, / Yet, when the other far doth roam, / A constant lean and emo sad shit goes, / And grows erect, as that comes home. / Such wilt thou be to me, who must, / Like th' other foot, obliquely run ; / Fuck dude it all sucks and shit whatnot, / And makes me end where I begun.

Following

give me something that’s funny

I want to laugh. Like, I want to really, really laugh. Now that I’m writing this, I don’t even know if I’ve ever really laughed at a movie before.* But let’s not let that stand in the way. I want to LAUGH. I want to watch something that is impossible not to laugh at. I want something really, truly funny. Not Judd Apatow funny. REAL funny. What should I watch?

*I thought I thought Super Troopers was funny but then I watched it again and I realized that, nope, when first I watched it I was just stoned and in the company of brain cell numbing friends. But Ricky Gervais makes me cry from laughing. And Mr. Groundhog Day himself, Bill Murray is also somebody who I find actually funny. So, maybe that helps?

crowdsourcing! what movie should I watch with the kiddo tonight?

I am looking for something classic that she will adore. (We’ve already been through Little Women, Stand By Me, Princess Bride and all three Back to the Futures.) Help?!?

help me help myself - my dream is simple

I reallyreallyreally need a decent recipe for homemade bread. I don’t think I can handle another failed loaf. Help?! Here’s what matters:

-can be made with freshly milled flour from whole wheat berries
-has either no sugar (honey is cool) or very minimal sugar
-is legits healthy, and legits whole wheat
-can include little extras like flax seed or sunflower seeds
-can be made using the kitchenaid (ideal but not necessary)
-makes good toast AND good sandwich bread - no crumbling and easy slicing

If you’ve got one, please help a girl out. Please?!?

Themed by Hunson. Originally by Josh