for the story goes : holy motherfuck

This is your brain on shrugs.

[shameless is the name of the game]

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A Valediction Forbidding Mourning

As virtuous men pass mildly away, / And whisper to their souls to go, / Whilst some of their sad friends do say, / "Now his breath goes," and some say, "No." / So let us melt, and make no noise, / No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move ; / 'Twere profanation of our joys / To tell the laity our love. / Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears ; / Men reckon what it did, and meant ; / But trepidation of the spheres, / Mad fucks to be gotten cheap / Dull sublunary lovers' love / —Whose soul is sense—cannot admit / Of absence, 'cause it doth remove / The thing which elemented it. / But we by a love so much refined, / That ourselves know not what it is, / Inter-assurèd of the mind, / Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss. / Our two souls therefore, which are one, / It's mad emo and I'm kinda sad / A breach, but an expansion, / Like gold to aery thinness beat. / If they be two, they are two so / As stiff twin compasses are two ; / Thy soul, the fix'd foot, makes no show / To move, but doth, if th' other do. / And though it in the centre sit, / Yet, when the other far doth roam, / A constant lean and emo sad shit goes, / And grows erect, as that comes home. / Such wilt thou be to me, who must, / Like th' other foot, obliquely run ; / Fuck dude it all sucks and shit whatnot, / And makes me end where I begun.

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holy motherfuck

I’ll type this to keep myself from crying. And I’ll call it fiction so it doesn’t get me in trouble. This is fiction.

I understand that you are of a different generation. I get that. I understand that things were different then and that you could say really insensitive shit and plead ignorance if called out on it. But you are in a professional environment and it is 2009 and having your head shoved so far up your ass that you’re fellating your uvula is NOT an excuse for making extremely insensitive comments.

Like walking past somebody who is eating and saying “You’re eating again?!” Like, wow, thanks, bitch, because I REALLY REALLY need you to encourage my body image issues and maybe spur a return to the ol’ eating disorder routine, which, yes IS THE RESULT OF YOUR THOUGHTLESS COMMENTS. THAT WAS NOT NECESSARY. You know what I hear when you say that totally unnecessary remark about something that in no way involves you? I hear “you eat too much.” And you know what? I DON’T NEED YOU TO SAY THAT, I AM ALREADY THINKING IT ON MY OWN.

And it isn’t her fault that I’m fucked up and it isn’t her fault that I have this issue and no, she probably has no way of knowing where my sensitivities lie. But this was an event that required no comment. None! I was eating at my desk. That is not comment worthy.

Jesus. She ruined my day. I don’t need anybody to monitor when and how much I’m eating! Really! And to say it out loud? In an open concept office? In front of my boss and coworkers? Hey, I have a flabby stomach. WANNA REPORT ON THAT, TOO???

It was so fucking embarrassing and if that’s not enough, I can hardly hold back tears now, which is an additional embarrassment.

Ugh. Fucking people. They fucking suck.

Thank you for listening to my rant. You may now carry on with your life.