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This is your brain on shrugs.

Direct glowing praise to: jamsieATgmailDOTcom

Direct hate mail to: jamsie+howhorrifyingATgmailDOTcom

[shameless is the name of the game]

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Lainey Gossip
The Awl

A Valediction Forbidding Mourning

As virtuous men pass mildly away, / And whisper to their souls to go, / Whilst some of their sad friends do say, / "Now his breath goes," and some say, "No." / So let us melt, and make no noise, / No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move ; / 'Twere profanation of our joys / To tell the laity our love. / Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears ; / Men reckon what it did, and meant ; / But trepidation of the spheres, / Mad fucks to be gotten cheap / Dull sublunary lovers' love / —Whose soul is sense—cannot admit / Of absence, 'cause it doth remove / The thing which elemented it. / But we by a love so much refined, / That ourselves know not what it is, / Inter-assurèd of the mind, / Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss. / Our two souls therefore, which are one, / It's mad emo and I'm kinda sad / A breach, but an expansion, / Like gold to aery thinness beat. / If they be two, they are two so / As stiff twin compasses are two ; / Thy soul, the fix'd foot, makes no show / To move, but doth, if th' other do. / And though it in the centre sit, / Yet, when the other far doth roam, / A constant lean and emo sad shit goes, / And grows erect, as that comes home. / Such wilt thou be to me, who must, / Like th' other foot, obliquely run ; / Fuck dude it all sucks and shit whatnot, / And makes me end where I begun.

Following

I don't get the attraction...

So Lainey, the best woman writing celebrity gossip, yesterday posted her annual prediction of People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive. She gave Robert Pattinson, the pasty boy from that vampire franchise, 2 to 1 odds. Really? I just do not see it. He looks sickly to me. He looks like the kind of guy with whom you’d have incredibly awkward sex, the kind of guy whose thighs would be half the size of your own, the kind of guy who would get an upset stomach from half a burrito. Sexiest man alive? Sexiest guy in the cancer ward, maybe, and even then…

But maybe I’m crazy! So I want your opinion! This is a two part question:

1. Is Robert Pattinson sexy?
2. Have you read/watched and enjoyed the Twilight books/movies?

  1. hollywoood answered: rob is not sexy, loved the books, didn’t enjoy the movie, but the new one looks good. I know how lame I sound, and I apologize.
  2. agglesauce answered: NO AND NO. GEEZ. I have to go to the premiere today though… I get to see Pattinson in person. I’m sure he’s just as stupid looking.
  3. shadeofgrey answered: 1.) Yes, comparatively speaking to most guys, I can’t say he’s not sexy at all. But not THE sexiest 2.) I have never read/watched Twilight.
  4. gamesockson answered: I frown when I see him on my dash.
  5. unicornery answered: Sexy yes, though I liked him better as heroic Hufflepuff Cedric Diggory. 2.) No.
  6. itsallinmyhead answered: nooooo & no thank you.
  7. adeandabet answered: Hell no and just plain no.
  8. absurdlakefront answered: Not sexy unless you like sickly looking men who look too young for their age. I have not ingested any of the Twilight franchise.
  9. viereckige-augen answered: 1. I’m too gay to answer. 2. I once threw up on a Twilight book.
  10. shorterexcerpts answered: 1. No, but I don’t really find many dudes sexy. and 2. Not just no but hell no. I’ve looked at the books and the prose is worse than shite
  11. librarianpirate answered: no, read but not enjoyed.
  12. unsolicitedanalysis answered: I’m voting sexy, just because I’m pale too, and translucent men need love.
  13. shetoldmesomemore answered: double no.
  14. jaimeleigh posted this
Themed by Hunson. Originally by Josh
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