for the story goes : a fan is a fan is a fan

This is your brain on shrugs.

[shameless is the name of the game]

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A Valediction Forbidding Mourning

As virtuous men pass mildly away, / And whisper to their souls to go, / Whilst some of their sad friends do say, / "Now his breath goes," and some say, "No." / So let us melt, and make no noise, / No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move ; / 'Twere profanation of our joys / To tell the laity our love. / Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears ; / Men reckon what it did, and meant ; / But trepidation of the spheres, / Mad fucks to be gotten cheap / Dull sublunary lovers' love / —Whose soul is sense—cannot admit / Of absence, 'cause it doth remove / The thing which elemented it. / But we by a love so much refined, / That ourselves know not what it is, / Inter-assurèd of the mind, / Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss. / Our two souls therefore, which are one, / It's mad emo and I'm kinda sad / A breach, but an expansion, / Like gold to aery thinness beat. / If they be two, they are two so / As stiff twin compasses are two ; / Thy soul, the fix'd foot, makes no show / To move, but doth, if th' other do. / And though it in the centre sit, / Yet, when the other far doth roam, / A constant lean and emo sad shit goes, / And grows erect, as that comes home. / Such wilt thou be to me, who must, / Like th' other foot, obliquely run ; / Fuck dude it all sucks and shit whatnot, / And makes me end where I begun.

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a fan is a fan is a fan – or, down with pink jerseys

Last night the Blue Jays held their annual State of the Franchise event for season ticket holders, and I got the opportunity to ask Paul Beeston about something that’s been bothering me for two years: why is there such terrible selection of merchandise for females? Last night was a great example – the Jays shop had a fantastic fifty percent off sale for all the attendees. We jumped at the chance to pick up jerseys, hoodies and hats for our entire family – but when it came time to find a hat for myself, I had only white and pink hats from which to choose. In case you’re unaware, the new uniforms have the Jays back in BLUE, not pink.

Beyond the pink issue, the shop was also notably missing shirts for women with player’s names on the back – despite having a huge selection for the guys. Last year in the shop we had maybe four names from which to choose, compared to the full roster for the men. Naturally we can wear Bautista’s name or Arencibia’s name – the popular one or the cute one, who else would a lady care about, right?? But what about the Escobar fans (me) or the Johnny Mac fans (my daughter, before he was traded)? Well, we can always wear an ill fitting man’s shirt, I guess.

The Blue Jays desperately need to cultivate a stronger fan base. Toronto is not a baseball town, and it shows. Regardless how many homers Bautista hits we just can’t fill the stands. Given that, it boggles my mind that they wouldn’t be actively courting fans of both sexes. As I stated to Beeston last night, female fans bring to the table the same passion and money as our male counterparts. Why wouldn’t we have the same choice in merchandise? Why are we treated as lesser fans? After the q&a wrapped up, I was approached by no less than a dozen people – men and women – thanking me for addressing the issue and confirming they’re frustrated, too. Give the people what they want!

And please – PLEASE – let the pink merch die. Let the tight, see through shirts and the tiny logos die. (Seriously, the women’s hats have a way smaller logo than the men’s hats. Why?) I promise you the people buying tight, pink jerseys are NOT the same people attending forty games a season, as I do. Let’s not cater to that audience, and let’s also not demean the female fans by offering only the most minimal, most cutesy merchandise.

I’m a baseball fan. I love the Blue Jays and support them with a fierce loyalty. Treat me like a real fan, or lose me. To be fair, Beeston promised my complaint was heard and it would be addressed. I’m really looking forward to seeing if that is indeed the case.