confidential to Alaska:
oh, oh, oh
About
Direct glowing praise to: jamsieATgmailDOTcom
Direct hate mail to: jamsie+howhorrifyingATgmailDOTcom
[shameless is the name of the game]
Links
Lainey GossipA Valediction Forbidding Mourning
As virtuous men pass mildly away, / And whisper to their souls to go, / Whilst some of their sad friends do say, / "Now his breath goes," and some say, "No." / So let us melt, and make no noise, / No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move ; / 'Twere profanation of our joys / To tell the laity our love. / Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears ; / Men reckon what it did, and meant ; / But trepidation of the spheres, / Mad fucks to be gotten cheap / Dull sublunary lovers' love / —Whose soul is sense—cannot admit / Of absence, 'cause it doth remove / The thing which elemented it. / But we by a love so much refined, / That ourselves know not what it is, / Inter-assurèd of the mind, / Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss. / Our two souls therefore, which are one, / It's mad emo and I'm kinda sad / A breach, but an expansion, / Like gold to aery thinness beat. / If they be two, they are two so / As stiff twin compasses are two ; / Thy soul, the fix'd foot, makes no show / To move, but doth, if th' other do. / And though it in the centre sit, / Yet, when the other far doth roam, / A constant lean and emo sad shit goes, / And grows erect, as that comes home. / Such wilt thou be to me, who must, / Like th' other foot, obliquely run ; / Fuck dude it all sucks and shit whatnot, / And makes me end where I begun.Following
oh, oh, oh
so this is definitely happening then
I refuse to be shamed for loving blind items.
Also, on the subject of shame, COME ON. No Fassbender nom?!
chiaraatik replied to your post: Rooney “I’m aloof and boning David Fincher” Mara, Extremely Blah and Incredibly Whatever, Midnight in Paris
Waiiiiit dumb question but are they really together? Fincher and Mara?
Okay, so this is where I reveal my addiction to celebrity gossip. The short answer? Yes, the relationship went/goes beyond creepy teacher and protege stuff. I know if I back this up with “Lainey Gossip put out a blind item about it” people are going to be like…yuh huh…but Lainey does not mess around with her gossip. If she says it went down, it went down. But also, you should read their super creepy interview in Vogue. It’s…unsettling. But yeah, start here and here if you want to get the goods from Lainey.
I gotta say, again, that Elanie Lui of Lainey Gossip is not your typical celebrity gossip blogger. She’s smart, reports gossip selectively and cautiously, and has been shown time and time again to be right on the money with her suspicions/predictions/speculations. She called the Russel Brand/Katy Perry split back in, like, August. She stopped reporting on Heath Ledger (she has a “sad smut” rule) long before the overdose. And her blind items? Unparellelled in smut value AND accuracy. I have NO shame in reading and promoting her brand of celebrity gossip. (On that note, if you love blind items, this site compiles all of Lainey’s blinds and tracks her clues, guesses, reveals etc. It is one of my absolute favourite time killers. Enjoy!
white people, we’re the best, we just fix everything!
COME ON.
I am an Oscars apologist. I dress up every year, I watch as many nominated films as I can, I buy into the dog and pony show. I bite my tongue and breathe deeply when others call them irrelevant, out of touch. I accept the politics as a necessary evil. I let the Gwyneths and the Sandras slide, because I’m willing to suspend disbelief to enjoy the show. This year?
Oh, this year. This year, Academy, you killed me. What the eff? REALLY! What? COME ON.
NHL Star goalie snubs White House
Washington (CNN) — Opposed to what he called the “out of control” growth of the federal government, Boston Bruins goalie Tim Thomas declined an invitation to join his teammates at the White House on Monday.
Hilariously, he was the only American on last year’s Stanley Cup winning team. Too bad the polite Canadians didn’t rub off on him?!
I’m gonna stand outside and shout “hey we’re tumblr friends!”
Why you should wear a helmet in warm-ups
This is Edmonton Oilers winger Taylor Hall after a skate sliced open his face during the team’s warm-up on on Tuesday. Don’t worry, his mom says he has learned his lesson.
My poor baby! WEAR A HELMET, GODDAMNIT. Also, this one’s for you lazybookreviews!!
Headed for NYC tonighttonighttonight! So stoked! Jeff Mangum! Ahh!
Unrelated, The Iron Lady is a TERRIBLE MOVIE. So terrible. So many montages. So boring. I guess this should be two posts, but you know what? It was so bad it doesn’t deserve its own post. TAKE THAT, Iron Lady.
Doesn’t matter that they had the wrong guy - he “roughly fit” the description of the person for whom they were looking. Doesn’t matter that he couldn’t respond to their attempts to communicate because of mental and physical disabilities - why ascertain important information like that before tackling a man to the ground? Doesn’t matter that his elderly mother, out for a walk with him that day, TOLD THEM he couldn’t speak because of mental disabilities - no, no. They needed her to shut up so they could hold an innocent man on the ground, stomach down, while he lay dying. But of course the police are cleared. Of course! The police in Toronto aren’t held accountable for their actions, no matter how illogical, no matter how brutal. No matter if they kill innocent people who “roughly fit the description” of a suspect - Toronto police are never, ever in the wrong.
Charles McGillivary was 45. He was out for a summer walk with his mother. They were going to get a slice of pizza. He couldn’t speak, so he used sign language to communicate. He was tackled by police and forcibly held to the ground, despite his mother begging police to stop, telling them he couldn’t speak because of his disabilities. He turned blue, and then he died. His crime? Once again, he “roughly fit the description” of a suspect for whom they were looking.
When his mother begged to go along with him in the ambulance, the police refused and told her to take a cab.
I’d really, really love to know what exactly a police officer would have to do before the SIU calls it wrongdoing. FTP.
Anonymous asked: you can sleep in my apt this friday. but in return i want you to undress and let me suck on your toes.
Sweet! That sounds awesome. But, uh, does the offer extend to my fiancé? Cuz he just loves getting his toes sucked…
shorterexcerpts replied to your post: cheap hotel or your couch?!?
You know, you could aim a little higher and see if any Tumblr NYC folks are wealthy enough to have a guest bedroom and all.
HA HA HA. Do you know who I follow?! I follow writers, dude. Writers don’t have guest bedrooms. Some of them don’t even have their own bedrooms. It would seem they don’t even have couches given that I STILL HAVEN’T BEEN INVITED TO STAY ON ONE. Heartbreak!